


Moonlit Monologue

by Paranoic_Still_Life



Category: Peacemaker Kurogane
Genre: Monologue, Sadness, historical information added, really really short, tuberculosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:43:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7548253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paranoic_Still_Life/pseuds/Paranoic_Still_Life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very, very short drabble about Souji speaking to himself about his problem when he takes up the sword. and how he’d like to change if he has more time. (this fic was written in like…2012 or so I think)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moonlit Monologue

Okita Souji sat alone, thinking and speaking to himself. There were just times when he needed to get away from all of the noise and chaos. He loved everyone but their rowdiness had been becoming harder to keep up with. “The reason I fight…?” Souji sighed, staring up at the falling cherry blossoms. Against the dark sky, the pale petals resembled snow, or maybe ash with the way that they were illuminated by the moon. “Most people would laugh, wouldn’t they Hijikata?” he asked quietly, not particularly to Hijikata, who stood out of sight, unseen. The question was directed more at himself, but it was easier to speak to Hijikata, if only in his mind. The other was surely asleep or grumbling over paperwork.

He pushed his plum colored hair away from his amethyst eyes, sighing deeply once more. “When was it that the answer became clear to me?” He wondered out loud. “I believe it was the spar with Sannan-san, huh?” Souji fiddled with the tea cup in his hands running one long, pale digit over the rim of the tiny laquered cup.

“I was nineteen…the instructor of Shiei Hall, if memory serves correct…” He drew in a wheezy breath, “As soon as I picked up that sword to fight him, something just snapped in my brain. A dark shadow had taken hold of my whole being and guided me to land a throat strike on Keisuke. ”

Hijikata sighed softly to himself, watching Souji from behind one of the large cherry trees. He wanted to call out to him. He knew, though, that if he did Souji would place that cold and broken smile back on his face, in fear of Hijikata seeing the pain that he held in the pit of his heart. He wanted Souji to be able to cry in peace, even if he wanted to hold the younger man and tell him it would be okay. He couldn’t take away his pain or sickness, but he could at least ease his heart if only he was given the chance.

“Demon’s child…I was called that be the age of twelve. Everytime I wield a sword, something dark stirs within my soul and I lose sight of everything…” Souji looked down just as a petal fell onto the surface of his murky tea, creating minuscule ripples. He laughed bitterly to himself, choking back the tears that threatened at the corners of his dark eyes.

A tear slid down his pale cheek. “I don’t want to be a demon’s child. I want to fight my darkness…or in the very least, use it to protect those whom I care for. I couldn’t save Yamanami…and now,” he coughed hard into his fist, crimson dotting his pale lips and hands. “I am running out of time. Will I be able to win against myself before this illness kills me?” He choked back a hard sob which shook his body.

Hijikata couldn’t stand to watch any longer as Souji suffered alone. Stepping from the shadows he placed a hand on Souji’s thin shoulder, squeezing gently. “Come inside Souji, you’ll catch your death in this weather.” A poor choice of words he realized when Souji flinched. He placed his padded kimono around Souji’s frail, trembling shoulders. Souji wiped his eyes and plastered on a smile before standing up and following Hijikata inside.

Long after Souji had fallen asleep, still wrapped in his superior’s kimono, Hijikata sat beside his futon. He caressed Souji’s thin cheek lightly, “Souji, you’re fine the way you are…so long as I live, I will not let that darkness take hold of you. So please…don’t worry so much,” he whispered.


End file.
